In my work with clients and in pursuing my own ambitions, I’ve often encountered goals that, while seemingly precise and worthwhile—like hitting a certain bank balance or owning a specific size house—end up feeling unfulfilled, or even worse, unfulfilling. It’s a common tale: we set our sights on tangible markers of success, believing they will bring us satisfaction. But what lies beneath these desires? For many, including myself, it’s a deeper yearning for safety and security.
The Illusion of Material Goals
When I first began setting goals, they were often material in nature. Whether it was a particular number in my bank account or living in a large, beautiful home, I believed these achievements would make me feel successful and secure. However, even upon achieving these goals, the anticipated fulfillment was fleeting. Instead of feeling content, I often found myself setting the next goal, thinking maybe this time, it would bring the satisfaction I was missing.
The Realization
This cycle continued until I took a step back to evaluate why I was setting these goals in the first place. What was I truly after? I realized that the physical manifestations of success I was chasing were stand-ins for what I really wanted—feelings of security and stability. The big house and the padded bank account were just my way of trying to achieve a sense of safety.
A Shift in Perspective
This realization was a turning point for me. I began to shift my focus from external achievements to internal experiences. Instead of setting goals based solely on material gains, I started to consider what emotions I wanted to feel and the experiences that would truly enrich my life.
Setting Experience-Based Goals
I transformed my approach to goal-setting by focusing on experience-based goals. For example, instead of aiming to simply increase my savings, I set goals around financial freedom and the security it would bring, allowing me more time with family and less stress about bills. Instead of just buying a bigger home, I focused on creating a warm, inviting space where my family and friends could gather and create memories.
Seeking the Kingdom of God
Beyond these tangible goals, my ultimate aim shifted toward seeking God’s Kingdom, which houses an abundance of peace, joy, favor, and true abundance. This spiritual goal transcends the material and aligns my life’s purpose with my deepest spiritual desires. It offers a profound sense of fulfillment that no earthly achievement can match.
Peace as the Ultimate Flex
In this journey, I’ve discovered that the ultimate flex is not the external trappings of success, but the internal peace that comes from knowing Christ. This peace surpasses all understanding and provides a foundation of true contentment that material success cannot offer. It’s a peace that acts as an anchor in both good times and bad, and knowing Christ has brought this unparalleled peace into my life, reshaping my definition of success.
Addressing the Skeptics
I understand the skepticism. It might seem easy for someone who has reached a certain level of success to say, “It’s not all it’s made out to be.” There’s a common frustration, akin to hearing a wealthy billionaire declare that “money isn’t everything” while they enjoy luxuries that seem out of reach for many. But here’s the essence: the fulfillment derived from these external achievements is often fleeting. The real, lasting satisfaction comes from aligning our pursuits with our deepest values and finding peace and joy in the experiences and relationships that truly matter.
10 Questions to Uncover Your True Goals
To help you drill deeper into what you truly want, consider these 10 questions:
- What brings you the most joy?
- What are your non-negotiable values?
- When do you feel most at peace?
- What fears or challenges hold you back?
- What would you do if money were no object?
- Who do you admire and why?
- What does your ideal day look like?
- What legacy do you want to leave behind?
- What are you most proud of having achieved so far, and why?
- What areas of your life feel lacking or unfulfilled?
By answering these questions honestly, you can gain deeper insights into your desires and motivations, helping you set goals that are not only ambitious but also deeply fulfilling.
Conclusion and Call to Action
This journey of discovery and realignment with my true desires has been transformative. It has taught me the power of understanding the ‘why’ behind our ambitions and ensuring our goals truly resonate with our innermost needs and values.
If you’re feeling stuck or unfulfilled by your current goals, I invite you to connect with me. With a decade of experience and many missteps along the way, I’ve learned through much trial and error how to help others find what they truly desire. Let’s work together to set goals that not only achieve success but bring genuine fulfillment and joy into your life. Contact me today, either by email joe@joeperrone.biz or via Direct Message and let’s start crafting a life that truly resonates with your deepest aspirations.